On the heels of the PING announcement of an adjustable shaft for its NOME putter, a number of equipment companies revealed plans to force evolution a step farther. This increased pace ensures that 2012 will long be remembered as a mark twain in the river of advancement. To the chagrin of some, to the delight of others, time and progress march in step.

The UN1TED STATES GOLF ASSOC1AT1ON announced that rules restricting the delivery of capitalism to the game of golf would be substantially relaxed. M1KE DAV1S, caretaker of the august organization, indicated “All players require increased latitude from our organization, lest some…” and continued on about the body remaining too quiet, far too long, on the topic.

N1KE announced that it had developed an adjustable grip in its hallowed font of engineering marvels, The Toaster, located in Pedernales, Texas. ROCK 1SH11, chief technological consultant, remarked “Any person recognizes individual leverage, for opportunity open leads specific…” melting into a discourse on the relationship of grip malleability to enjoyment and execution.

TM4G, (The T4YLORM4DE-4DID4S COMPANY) indicated that the second generation of its new and successful S4MB4 golf shoe would incorporate space-age principals of hovering, to reach a previously-unknown merging of balance, stability and comfort. Spokesperson CHR1ST4 McN4M4R4 held media spellbound with the revelation that “A puny release in levity forces optimal orbital localization, specifically…” disintegrating quite majestically into the epiphany that led company engineers and marketers ably down the slippery slope of stability.

T1TLE1ST, long known for its adherence to traditional shapes and substances, began to diverge from this path in the early 2000s with triangular heads. So as not drift off in the wake of announcements from its competitors, communications officer J03 G0M3S read into the record that T1TLE1ST would “attempt profitable realization in leading from object-oriented localization sourcing…” moving toward a tangent that addressed adjustable club faces, hosels and bag straps.

Doubtless, more advancement awaits in the coming days; for the life of me (I’ll confess) I can’t make tails nor heads of the industry-talk of the spokespersons. I attest, an advanced degree in linguistics must be required to gather it all in.